When We Both Get Carried Away
by Heaven And Above
Summary: Wolfstar (a.k.a. SB/RL), SLASH, side JP/LE. Marauders era. Sirius is in love with James, Remus is in love with Lily. Lily and James finally start dating. Sirius (of course) creates a marvelous plan to break them up, but Remus wants them to be happy and swears to do his best to stop Sirius. The boys start a war, not yet realizing that they don't always know what they want.
1. Something about the Heat

A/N:Is this a new story you see? Yes, yes it is. Title credit: +44- When Your Heart Stops Beating (Check the song out. Really. It's great.) I DO NOT OWN THE IMAGE! Found it on Google. Also, all rights go to J.K. Rowling. The plot is mine, but that's all.

* * *

Sirius' arms were burning already, but he refused to stop.

One hundred and two.

He was pushing himself away from the floor, his muscles rippling and silently complaining each time he did so.

One hundred and three.

He switched to one-handed press ups and gritted his teeth.

One hundred and four.

His luggage was lying beside him, with all the things he needed for tomorrow inside already.

One hundred and five.

Since it was four in the morning, he tried really hard not to groan when switching arms. His parents waking up was after all the last thing he needed.

One hundred and six.

This was his third round of press ups, sit ups and squats, but nothing was helping- Sirius couldn't sleep at all and that was it.

One hundred and se-

He gave up halfway up, spreading on the floor and sighing deeply. His body ached for sleep and yet he couldn't close his eyes for a second. He knew that tomorrow is going to be very difficult like this, but it couldn't be helped. He tried to attach every single part of his skin to the cold ground, hoping to ease the heat waves coming over him.

It was unusually hot. The summer was supposed to be ending and yet the heat kept getting worse. It worsened his insomnia even more.

Truly, Sirius was just laying there thinking about _him _most of the nights and the heat had only made it completely impossible to close his eyes.

If Sirius could he would live somewhere, where it was constantly cold, with lots and lots of snow- British winters had never been enough really. He didn't know why he hated heat and sun this much, but it was simply how he felt, especially when he was tired and sleep deprived.

He groaned quietly rolling over onto his back, feeling his muscles contract in pleasure when they hit the cold ground. The ground was not much of a help, but it was better than nothing.

Sirius closed his eyes trying not to think of anything, yet somehow _he _made his way back into his mind, making Sirius wonder whether he was sleeping, whether he felt as hot as Sirius, whether he was thinking of tomorrow.

"Goddamn it, James, let me sleep, will you?"

* * *

On the other side of the country Remus Lupin couldn't quite sleep either. Just like Sirius he had already packed his things and was now spending his time on the roof of his house with a cup of coffee in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth.

Yes, yes he knew it wasn't healthy. He was going to quit tomorrow. Really.

He looked at the night sky and took a deep drag of the smoke in.

As the heat ran down his body, making him sweat even more in his already soaked shirt, which was clinging to his skin uncomfortably, he looked undesirably at the almost cold by now cup of beverage in his hand. He usually was almost addicted to coffee, but there was something about the heat that made it seem highly unappetising.

Remus didn't like summer. He really didn't, he much preferred autumn or winter. Anything without heat would do. Although the transformations did seem to be a bit smoother during hotter periods and waking up hot might have been a bit more pleasant than waking up freezing.

He threw away the cigarette bud and wiped his forehead. His hair was sticking unpleasantly to it and he brushed it back, knowing that he looked stupid, but not caring enough.

He hated summer for more reasons than just heat, actually.

To him summer was this sad lonely time, where he had to be alone and only interact with his friends throughout the letters. And he missed them, missed the castle, the lessons, he even missed their so called 'adventures' (_troubles_, they were always getting themselves in some kind of _trouble_).

And today what scared him the most was that tomorrow their last year started.

He could hardly wrap his head around that.

He didn't want to think about his life from the point when he finished school.

No more school. No more friends. No proper job. War going on around him.

He shivered.

And then he thought that he was probably going to lose one more thing.

Her green eyes ran through his mind and he groaned burying his face in his hands.

He knew he shouldn't be feeling like this.

He knew. From the very beginning every each one of them knew who she was going to end up with. And for the longest time Remus rooted for them both. Because they were his friends. Because they deserved happiness more than anyone else in this world. Because the only thing she had to do was truly open her eyes and see what's been in front of her all along.

They would ride off into the sunset, leaving Remus here to be jealous of everything he cannot and will never have.

It would have been easier if he could at least hate James for it. But he couldn't. Because it was James. Because he fell for her first. Because Remus didn't have a chance, even if the situation would have been different. He just didn't.

In many ways life was not fair to Remus.

This one would make it to the list of to ten cruellest.

* * *

"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed grinning.

He had been trying to push his suitcase into the train with all his might and now that his friend distracted him, the said suitcase rolled back painfully hitting his legs and knocking him down like a bowling pin.

For a moment Remus stood there simply looking at Sirius- spread out on the ground with a tearful look on his face and biting his lower lip trying not to cry- and then he burst out laughing.

"Ha ha ha, Sirius, that was hilarious!" He hollered clutching his stomach.

"Shut up and help me up, you prick." Sirius mumbled embarrassed and tried to push off the suitcase of himself.

Remus didn't hear him- he was too busy gasping for air.

Sirius stumbled to his feet, mewling when a sharp shot of pain ran down his legs.

"I'm glad that you find my pain funny, Moony." Sirius huffed.

"Trust me, I do." Remus said finally straightening out.

Sirius glared at him, but then the look on his face changed.

"Your hair." He said with a weird expression.

"My hair." Remus nodded mimicking Sirius.

"No, I mean it looks different."

"Does it?"

"Yeah and you look taller." Sirius added, looking Remus up and down.

"Gaunter and lankier you mean- growth spurt's a bitch." The werewolf frowned and scrunched his nose distastefully.

"No, you look h-...fine. You look fine." Sirius stated and bent down to tie his shoe, which was weird, because Remus could've sworn he saw Sirius untie it first and tie it again. Suddenly the boy's head snapped up. "Since when do you swear?" he asked suspiciously.

"Spend an entire summer with my cousin and you'll be talking like a sailor too. And by the way I didn't swear, that was actually a pun- people _like me _tend to go through a late sudden growth spurt." Remus explained smiling solemnly and picking up his own suitcase to get into the train.

"Oh." Sirius murmured standing up.

"Wait a bit, I'll help you with that." Remus said quickly and after throwing his suitcase inside, came back to help Sirius with his.

"Thanks." Sirius hummed, his voice a bit stubborn. The lycanthrope rolled his eyes.

"You are very welcome."

"_Prick_."

"I heard that, Padfoot." Remus laughed.

"That was the intention."

Remus raised an eyebrow. He was standing a few steps higher than Sirius. Suddenly an evil grin spread over his face.

"No, no, Moony!"Sirius cried frantically, but it was too late. The suitcase was already released and falling onto him again making him hit the ground again.

Remus walked out of the train and lent over his groaning friend, grinning widely.

"Sorry, Sirius, it must have slipped." He laughed.

"Bloody prick!" Sirius yelped as the werewolf pushed the suitcase off him.

"Yeah, we established that already."

"I could've died!" Sirius exclaimed angrily, sitting up.

"I seriously doubt that, Padfoot." Remus brushed it off.

"I could've snapped my spine into two, then what?!"

"I'm sure a train full of witches and wizards would have figured out how to heal you." The lycanthrope said calmly and took Sirius' arm holding it elbow-up. "Speaking of which. _Episkey._" He muttered pointing at the place where ripped white material showed a slight scrape.

"You ripped my shirt!" Sirius said outraged.

"The ground did." Remus shrugged and laughed.

"It was my favourite!" Sirius groaned.

"I'll get you a new one for Christmas." The lycanthrope promised emptily, knowing full well that if he wanted he could've fixed the material as well.

He stood up and extended his hand to help his friend up. Sirius just sent him a nasty look and stood up by himself.

"Guys!" They heard a voice behind them and turned to see Peter hurrying towards them with a smile.

"Hi Peter!" They said simultaneously, which made Sirius glare at Remus again. Once he turned away, the lycanthrope stuck his tongue out at him.

"How are you?" Peter asked them grinning.

"Great, thanks." Remus replied at the same time as Sirius muttered 'been better'.

Peter laughed at that, making Remus think that he probably saw the little accident before.

"Anyways, seen James yet?" Peter asked.

"Nope." The werewolf shook his head.

"Nah, but he's probably somewhere around, flaunting his Head Boy badge to Evans or something." Sirius shrugged. "Peter, can you help me with this?"

"Yeah, sure." Peter said and they finally lifted Sirius' suitcase inside the train successfully.

"See, Remus, it's really not that hard." Sirius muttered indignantly coming out afterwards.

"Actually it's quite heavy, what did you even pack?" Peter asked rubbing his hands to his pants.

"Oh that's probably just his hair care products." Remus laughed and winced when Sirius' fist collided with his left arm.

"What's wrong with wanting to have nice hair?" Sirius huffed.

Remus and Peter shared a look.

"Nothing." They sang out together and laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, you're both just jelly." Sirius crossed his arms.

"Yeah, Sirius, you got us. We're _jelly._" The werewolf smirked, with sarcasm oozing out of his voice.

"Actually, Remus hair looks nicer than yours now."Peter added as an afterthought.

People hurrying by stopped and gaped at the three of them.

Remus swore he heard someone in the crowd whispering 'Oh no, he didn't.'

"Oh no, you didn't!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Mo-mommy, is that smoke coming out of that boys' ears?" A kid asked somewhere.

"Oh, honey, don't be silly that can't be- hmm, I guess you're right."

Remus spent the next fifteen minutes holding Sirius back from hitting Peter.

"I'm calm, I'm calm, you can let me go now." Sirius said finally.

"Never insult his hair, Peter. Never." Remus whispered to Peter fearfully.

"Sorry, I forgot." Peter shuddered.

The boys stood around waiting for James to show up.

Remus sighed.

"It's too hot!" He complained, undid the upper button of his shirt and rolled back the sleeves of his shirt.

"Whoa!" Peter exclaimed next to him and carefully poked his upper arm with one finger. "Are those muscles?"

Sirius, who was looking into the distance, glanced at them quickly and scrunched up his nose.

"I'm pretty sure those are called bones, Peter." He said spitefully.

"Nah, mate, I'm pretty sure those are muscles." Peter shook his head and Remus laughed.

Sirius didn't respond instead he shifted and strained his eyes a little bit focusing on something in the crowd.

"I think..." He said slowly. "I think I just found James."

Two other boys followed his gaze and froze.

Yup, it was James alright. And he was certainly undoubtedly truly shoving his tongue down a particular redhead's throat.

"Well-" Peter started stunned.

"Well, fuck." Remus and Sirius said in unison.


	2. Something about Her

"Hi guys!" James greeted with Lily hanging on his arm, smiling shyly. Which was totally out of character.

"Hello." She said.

"Hi James! Hi Lily!" Peter responded eagerly while the other two just stood there gaping at the couple.

"We should probably go, the train leaves in two minutes." James noted glancing at an expensive watch on his wrist. A present from his parents for his seventeenth birthday.

"Yeah, okay, we already dragged all our stuff inside." Peter nodded.

"Great. We kind of have to sit in the front, but we'll come back here as soon as we can." James said gesturing towards the front of the train awkwardly.

"Okay, well, see you then." Peter said.

Sirius and Remus nodded dumbly.

James and Lily fidgeted uncomfortably looking in between Remus and Sirius as if waiting for them to speak up.

When that didn't happen James gave them a sharp nod and turned around leaving. Lily followed him.

"Let's go then." Peter prompted, entering the train.

Sirius and Remus stood completely frozen for a moment.

Remus snapped out of it first.

"Did you just see what I saw?"

"I think so." Sirius answered uncertainly.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Did you know about this?"

"No. Did you?"

"No." Remus muttered weakly.

"When did this even happen?" Sirius asked appalled.

"I really have no idea, Sirius." Remus shook his head slightly.

"Do you think Wormtail knew?" Sirius asked suddenly realizing that Peter was the only one not in the least bit surprised.

"Hmm, that's actually a good question." Remus shrugged still looking at the spot James and Lily had just stood contemplating.

"Well that was… very unexpected." Sirius concluded, still not being able to fully understand what had just happened.

The guys looked at each other.

Each noted that the other looked shaken, maybe a little bit too shaken. Their eyes widened.

Remus was about to open his mouth to say something when Peter stuck out his head.

"Well, come on!"

* * *

The only thing preventing the silence was the sound of train grounding the tracks. The strange rhythm was like a salvation to Peter, who was sitting with two very silent and very sickly looking boys.

"Sooo…" He dragged out cautiously.

"Did you know about it?" Sirius barked all of the sudden, not taking his eyes off the window.

"Did I know about what?" Peter edged away.

"James and Lily." Remus explained, his tone cold. He was sitting in front of them and when Peter raised his eyes to him, he immediately regretted the decision.

"Y-Yeah, kind of. I saw them together a week ago in Diagon Alley." Peter murmured feebly, feeling rather unsafe under the werewolf's intense gaze.

"And you didn't tell us." Sirius growled under his breath, turning his grey eyes on Peter as well.

"They asked me not to. They said they wanted to tell you themselves." Peter tried to defend himself, shifting closer to the exit.

"Since when are they together?" Remus asked.

"I didn't really ask." Peter shrugged. He was scared. You would be too if you had Sirius and Remus glaring at you like that.

The door opened and Peter almost fell out. Not having realised his back had been pressed up against it.

"Hey, we're just checking in." Lily said with James standing behind her.

No, his hand on her hip did not go unnoticed.

Suddenly Remus smiled at her brightly.

"Hey."

Sirius glanced at him, mouth agape and his expression looked as if he had just experienced the greatest treason in his entire life.

James and Lily seemed to be taken aback a little by Remus reaction but slowly began smiling too.

"I swear, I thought it would be more fun." James complained, looking disdainfully at his badge. "We spent last hour listening about school rules, as if I didn't know them already."

They shuffled in and took seats beside the guys.

"Yes, James, I'm sure you even have a list of them somewhere, crossing them out one at a time as you break them." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Not exactly, I'm pretty sure the list could be brought down to two words 'no fun' - and I broke that the day I entered this world, love." James smirked, running a hand through his hair conceitedly.

"Call me 'love' again, Potter, I dare you." Lily's smile fell and she gave him a threatening look.

James backed away from her and glanced at his friends for help.

"I see not much has changed." Remus laughed at them and they stopped in their tracks looking between Sirius and him.

"Yeah, about that..." James dragged out awkwardly.

"We wanted to tell you guys, we just didn't really know how." Lily started uneasily.

Remus could see Sirius glaring daggers at her with the corner of his eye.

"Well, it's kind of okay- I mean it's your business, not ours." The werewolf smiled easily, trying to defuse the tension Sirius' aura was giving off.

Sirius huffed silently stood up and walked out leaving them all stunned.

"Si-"

"Why don't you let me, James." Remus insisted quickly going after Sirius, not even waiting for response.

He managed to catch up with the guy before he reached another cabin.

"Sirius!" Remus groaned.

"Sod off!" Sirius responded hastily.

"Really, Sirius? 'Sod off' and everything is fixed, huh?" Remus said, trying to play on Sirius' anger.

It worked- the boy turned around and gave Remus his best glare.

"Wow, you're glaring." The werewolf said unimpressed provoking the guy further.

"Leave me alone." Sirius growled.

"Uh-huh, so you can go and went your anger on some first year that gets in your way? I'd rather you just hit me." Remus said completely calm.

"I'm not angry."

"Of course you're not." Remus agreed, but his eyes were shining jokingly, making Sirius' patience melt away little by little.

"Why would I be angry?" Sirius tried another way.

"You tell me, actually." Remus said, looking genuinely interested.

"I'm not."

"Okay, when what is it?" Remus pressed the matter further, not paying any attention how dangerously tight Sirius' fists were pressed to his sides.

"He should've told us." Sirius gritted out. "Aren't you annoyed that he kept it a secret?"

"Hm, no, not really. He told us now, I don't expect him to report every single step he makes right away. It's not exactly keeping a secret- especially since things like this _are_ private." Remus reasoned, knowing that his arguments will probably go unnoticed, as the guy in front of him was not the most reasonable person, especially when he was mad.

"I'm his best friend- it's never been like this before! He tells me everything! _The moment it happens!" _Sirius flailed his arms wildly.

"It's never been Lily before." Remus stated as if it should explain everything. And maybe it should have and would have if Sirius wasn't angry and confused.

"What do you mean?! Some stupid bird can't take away my best friend! He's –" Sirius started yelling, but fell silent and looked around quickly lowering his voice. "He's-"

"He's what Sirius?" Remus challenged, knowing well which buttons to push.

Sirius looked at him with a silent question in his eyes.

"Well come on now, finish the sentence." Remus taunted.

"Nothing. He's not supposed to keep things from me, from us."Sirius said flatly.

"Is that what you were really going to say?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Sirius cut off sharply.

"Too bad for you then, because that is the most hypocritical thing I have ever heard. And trust me I know a lot about hypocrisy." The werewolf took a step closer to Sirius frowning at him in a way that made him feel like a kid getting scolded.

"How is that hypocritical?" Sirius asked, but his voice was wavering, clearly showing fear behind it.

"How is it not?" Remus laughed. "Here you are, still trying so desperately to hang onto your lies even now. I don't understand how you didn't see this coming, Sirius, really. Your best friend, you say? Keeping secrets? How about you? If you think you're any better than this when, by your own standards may I add, you are three times worse." His voice was far from cool now, he himself was now struggling to keep it a whisper.

Sirius stood there with his mouth slightly open and a look of a deer caught in the headlights.

Remus backed off and sighed.

"Sorry, that was out of line. But Sirius, try to get your own feelings in check, before you go off blaming everyone else."

"How did you know?" Sirius breathed out.

"What?"

"How did you _know_?" He repeated.

"I'm observant." Remus shrugged.

"But he-"

"Of course James doesn't know, he might be my friend, but I swear, I've never met anyone dafter." Remus shook his head as a mother talking indulgently about her children.

Sirius suddenly was beet red.

Remus looked at him and chuckled.

"It's okay, Padfoot, I'm really in no position to judge."

"I just... I don't really know why." Sirius forced out shamefully.

"I don't think it's something we can control." Remus hummed.

"I know I shouldn't be feeling like this though." He whispered hiding his eyes behind his hair.

"It happens. So you like guys- big deal. So you're in love with your best friend- who cares. At least you don't turn into a blood thirsty monster every full moon." The werewolf guy joked lightly, in attempt to change the mood.

It worked as Sirius laughed.

"Yeah, wanna change?" He asked.

"You have no idea how much I'd love to." Remus replied.

The boys stood for a while in silence, in the strangely empty passageway. (Remus wouldn't be surprised if everyone was afraid of the new Head Girl biting their heads off for moving around too much.)

"I don't get it." Sirius muttered after a while.

"What?"

"How are _you_ so calm?" He wondered and his eyes bore into the golden ones.

"Huh?"

"Didn't you want her for yourself?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus was thrown off guard. He didn't know whether it was the fact that someone knew, or the way that it sounded coming from someone else. So dirty and impure, the complete opposite from what it felt like.

"Hm. Well you got me there, Sirius. With a risk of sounding conceited, I dare to say that I thought I was much more discreet than you are." Remus concluded uncomfortably.

"Oh I didn't know for sure, but it seems I guessed correctly." Sirius smirked.

Remus blinked a couple of times.

"Well."

"Yeah." Sirius nodded. "Anyways, what do you even see in her?" He asked frowning and Remus got a feeling he wasn't only asking about him.

"Don't, Sirius. Hating her is not going to change anything." He tried to reason.

"How can I not hate someone, who's wrapping their filthy little hands around the person I'm in love with." Sirius grumbled.

"They're happy. Both of them." Remus sighed.

"What about us? Our happiness? You're not even gonna fight?"

"We had six years for fighting, before they got together. This now, would simply be playing unfair." The lycanthrope shook his head solemnly.

"You know what? You can think whatever you want, but he's mine and no one can take him from me!" Sirius snapped angrily and strode back to their cabin determinedly.

"Sirius," Remus said calmly, even as Sirius brushed his shoulder forcefully passing by, "Does _he _know that?"

* * *

And so the new school year started. With Sirius glaring at Lily every time she so much as toughed James and Peter glancing awkwardly around trying to escape the tense atmosphere hanging over their group.

Remus felt pain making his stomach churn as Lily smiled at James, but even so, he knew this was bound to happen someday. He didn't feel angry, didn't feel wronged, he just felt hurt- hurt by the circumstances.

The only one who truly annoyed Remus was Sirius, who somehow thought that had the right to hate Lily, though she did nothing wrong. Who thought that he had some kind of claim over James. Whose whole world seemed to be revolving around himself.

The annoyance doubled when he saw a concerned look on James' face.

Who did Sirius think he was?


	3. Something about Broken Bones

"Morning." James yawned tiredly. It was only Thursday of the first full school week, but he already looked exhausted and sleep deprived.

Lily sat down next to him, her eyes red as if she hadn't slept all night, with a book in her hands.

"You don't look so good." Remus muttered to them both, his own voice flat and tired.

"Yeah, you don't look so good either." James answered.

"I tried finishing the essay Slughorn gave us yesterday." Remus brushed it off, his eyes searching for coffee.

"That's not even due today." Lily gaped at him strangely.

"Yes, but today I have Transfiguration and I'm expecting McGonagall to give us something more, so I figured I'd try to race my schedule while I still can." He explained and gave up, not finding coffee anywhere, bringing his head to rest on the table.

"Have they heard of sleep?" Peter groaned.

"I'm afraid, Peter, that no, they know not of such thing." James laughed yawning again.

"Stop that, you're making me sleepy!" Remus whined.

"Rem, no sleep is making you sleepy." Lily hummed cynically.

With the corner of his eye Remus saw Sirius enter the Great Hall, as he saw Lily sitting with them, he turned to sit at the farthest corner of the table possible. Remus tried not to frown, hoping Lily and James wouldn't notice it.

"He's not eating with us again." James said and the werewolf cursed inwardly.

"I don't get it, why is he so mad at us?" Lily sighed and her green eyes clouded with worry.

"He's just- I'm going to talk to him." Remus sighed, stumbling to his feet and stalking off towards Sirius. He really needed that cup of coffee he didn't get.

"Good morning, Sirius." He said and took a seat opposite to the guy, glaring at him faintly.

"Morning." Sirius greeted back.

"I see you're still as stubborn as ever." Remus bent his head slightly to one side.

"Why should I sit and watch _them_?" Sirius shrugged. "She leaves, I come back."

"That is very mature and very reasonable." Remus bit sarcastically.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not ruining my morning and I'm not willing to endure her presence just so she can rub it in my face." He murmured determinedly, but Remus could have sworn he saw a tiny little bit of hurt flash in Sirius' eyes.

He wasn't about to feel sorry for the guy though.

"Yeah, sure, ruin our morning instead."

Sirius paled.

"I'm not doing anything wrong, Moony." He said pressing his lips together tightly.

"No, of course you're not, you're just being angry that your _best friend_ got the girl he's been after for the last four years." Remus whispered leaning over so only Sirius could hear him. "You're being angry that your feelings, which he, by the way, knows nothing about, are hurt. You're being angry that he cannot read your mind. You're being angry that he doesn't incorporate your feelings, though that's out of his control. And because you're angry you're ditching _all _of your friends. No, Sirius, you're not doing anything wrong." He finished and got up not sparing one look to Sirius' shocked face, walking back to his friends.

"Say, Remus, why does he look like you just ritually burned his music magazine collection?" James asked in awe.

"Because nothing is worse than the truth." Remus shrugged simply.

"Moony, remind me to never get on your bad side." Peter muttered with fearful respect as they watched Sirius stand up and leave the great hall looking all shaken up.

"Yeah, it looks like you can be even worse than Lily." James nodded in agreement and Lily's eyes snapped to him.

"What is that supposed to mean, Potter?" She asked her tone dangerously low.

James looked at Remus quickly as if expecting him to offer an escape, to which the werewolf just smirked and mouthed the word 'run'.

* * *

Transfiguration was Awkward. Yes, with the capital 'A'.

Sirius sat down a few rows away from James and when Remus walked in and saw that, he almost groaned out loud.

He stomped over to Sirius and took a seat next to him, leaving James to give him a confused and worried glance, to which he just responded with an assuring smile.

"So what is it now? You're not talking to James, even though Lily's not here?" Remus asked and Sirius just threw him a nasty look before starting to scribble something on the parchment in front of him.

"That makes so much sense, Sirius." The werewolf rolled his eyes.

No answer.

"Oh, I see, you're not talking to me either, huh?" Remus chuckled.

Sirius just started scribbling more furiously, with a concentrated look on his face.

"Very well. I'm kind of glad, you know? You can talk to me when you're no longer stupid or butthurt enough to keep doing this to your friends." Remus gritted out and stood up to go over to James.

"At least I'm fighting. You, on the other hand, are just being pushed around, not even taking a stand for something you want." Sirius whispered quickly and Remus snapped his head to him.

"Oh I know that we're different. I'd rather be pushed around than be the one doing the pushing, Sirius. Especially if it makes the people I care about happy." The golden eyes flashed angrily. "And once again, what you call 'fighting' is nothing more than a childish whim. I hope you realise that sooner than your friends grow tired of trying to please you."

"Fuck you."

"You know what?" Remus felt fury flow over his body. He bent over leaning on the table with his hands, so that their faces were mere centimetres apart and lowered his voice enough for Sirius to barely hear it. "I bet that at some point you've wished that you could."

A stunned expression on Sirius' face was strangely satisfying.

Was it a hit below the belt? Deninitely.

Did Remus feel guilty about it? Very much so.

Would he do it again? Absolutely.

Was it worth getting punched in the face? Well, yeah.

Was punching back worth getting thrown out of the class? No, not really.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey was standing in front of them tapping her foot impatiently.

"I'm sorry I broke your jaw." The werewolf murmured scared of the woman's glare.

"I'mh soghlwy I bwgoke yough noghse."Sirius responded with a lisp and Remus tried to hold in the chuckle bubbling in his chest, he really did.

"Aswghole." Sirius mumbled, earning himself a hit on the head from Madam Ponfrey and therefore mewling in pain.

Pomfrey just hummed as if it she thought he deserved it.

In Remus' opinion he did.

"And you?" She asked stiffly.

"What? I'm not sorry for trying to stop my friends from killing each other." James said sounding highly offended.

"Why didn't you call a professor?" Pomfrey was refusing to have any of it.

"They were strangling each other, by the time I would have gotten someone, both of them would've been dead!" James tried to defend himself.

"Why is it that I healed more broken bones for you three in the last six years, than for everyone else put together in my time working here?" She sighed tiredly.

"Noghw you'lghe jusr exhaleweating." Sirius said, pressing the ice to his jaw tighter.

"I'm sorry what?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"He said 'Now you're just exaggerating'" Remus cooperated, earning himself a look from Sirius which obviously was meant as 'I don't need your help'.

"No, I'm not actually." Pomfrey said looking a little bit thrown off herself. "You three broke one hundred and five bones… and counting."

The boys looked at each other.

"Yes! Another record!" James pumped his fist in the air victoriously.

"I take it Lily was actually right about that school rules list." Remus laughed.

"Shhh… she's everywhere." James shushed him quickly, looking around.

"Yeah, nohg killing." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No killing? What?" James asked, making Remus, who actually understood what Sirius wanted to say, double over in laughter.

"Noh kiwwing!" Sirius tried again.

"Kiwi? What kiwi?" James said confused.

That left Remus gasping for air. Which backfired, really, as blood started gushing out of his nose again.

"Not again." Pomfrey groaned.

You see a broken nose would have been half that bad, but at some point in their fight, Sirius actually managed to stuff some poor kid's wand up Remus' nostril.

Yes folks, you heard it right.

Yes, the wand did break.

Yes, removing the remains was one of the most painful experiences in Remus' life.

Not to mention the most humiliating.

It was Sirius' turn to laugh, not for long though, as a couple of seconds later his laughter turned into groans of pain again.

"Okay you two, lie down and wait for the elixir to work, you're staying here overnight." Madam Pomfrey said to Remus and Sirius. "You, out! Now." She ushered James through the door and turned back to the other boys before leaving herself. "No laughing."

"Truh mwe, ih Igh ghav to sthay wth hgim, therg will onghly be thearsh." Sirius grumbled.

(Trust me, if I have to stay with him, there will only be tears.)

Madam Pomfrey bent her head to the side.

"What?"

"He said 'thank you very much for your help, we will not laugh.'" Remus smiled politely and she nodded and left.

"Whahs noh wha I saigh!" Sirius protested.

(That's not what I said!)

"_I _know." The werewolf smirked.

"Youghr evhil!"

(You're evil!)

Remus raised an eyebrow at that and smiled innocently.

They were quiet for a minute.

Then Sirius sighed deeply.

"Moohney?"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"Ihgm sowly." Sirius looked as if it pained him to say that. Wait. Maybe it did.

(I'm sorry.)

"Yeah, I'm sorry too, that last part was out of line." Remus admitted thoughtfully.

Sirius just shrugged looking down.

"Igh sthill noh ghivihn uh." He said eventually, not raising his eyes to meet Remus'.

(I'm still not giving up.)

"Then, we still have a problem." The werewolf responded determination clear in his voice.

"Igh dongh ghet ih! Doghn youh ligh hger?" Sirius grunted frustrated.

(I don't get it! Don't you like her?)

"I do." Remus answered simply.

"Ha ghlot?"

(A lot?)

The lycanthrope mulled it over for a moment.

He pictured her gentle green eyes, her smile. How her hair looked in the sun. He picture her laughing and grinning at him. He pictured her leaning over a book in the Common room, as the light of the fire made her skin almost glow.

He remembered the touch of her hand and how she dragged him gently towards the library. She was the only one to understand his love for books.

He remembered her worried look when he came back after that one particularly bad full-moon. Her hand running through his hair, so warm and soothing, when he lied there and told her that he couldn't do it anymore.

Her stubbornness. Her yelling at some fourth-year old when they were doing their prefect rounds.

Her murmuring angrily that one time he didn't sleep for two nights in a row to study.

And her letters, which managed to get him through every summer.

"I love her." He stated at last and looked up to see grey eyes with so much pity and compassion shining in them that he had to turn away. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me, Sirius!" He laughed weakly.

"Dohn yough haghe Jamhes thgen?" Sirius asked with his voice even more hoarse than before.

(Don't you hate James then?)

"Of course I don't. It's _James! _Besides, how could I hate someone, who makes her happy?" Remus explained. "I care about her, more than I care about anyone. If her happiness is James, who am I to try to take it away?"

Sirius paled a little bit and turned away.

"Yough prbhably thingh I'mh shelfigh."

(You probably think I'm selfish.)

"No, Sirius, I do not think you're a shellfish." Remus laughed but stopped immediately remembering Madam Pomfrey's warning.

Sirius looked at him, giving him a cynical look.

"No, Sirius." The werewolf answered again on a serious note. "I just think you don't know how to deal with this."

Sirius stared at him for a while and then gave a sharp nod.

* * *

That night Sirius couldn't sleep.

Not because the beds were completely awful here.

Not because it was horribly hot again.

Not because his jaw was hurting.

Not even because he was thinking of James.

Because he wasn't.

What kept him up was the light snoring beside him. (Which was probably Sirius' job, as Moony didn't usually snore.)

He didn't know why, but there was something different about Remus' presence next to him.

The look on Remus' face when he said that he loved Lily kept running through Sirius' mind. His friend was usually so guarded, so careful not to let his feelings show and then, then he just looked vulnerable. And Sirius felt strangely lost between wanting to see it and wanting to wipe that look off of his face.

There was also something else.

_ '__I bet that at some point you've wished that you could.'_

Sirius groaned into his pillow.

Why did _he_ have to go and say something like that?

Sirius hadn't even noticed, in the moment of something that resembled sheer panic, that his fist had already collided with Remus' face.

Panic... or rather guilt and embarrassment.

Because, while Sirius would never admit it, even to himself, he might have sort of kind of possibly wished something similar (while maybe not as _lewd_) at some point. Just a passing thought though. Really.

No, but really.


	4. Something about Plans and Stubbornness

"You cannot be serious!" Remus whined.

"Come on, just think about it, it's a win-win situation!" Sirius tried to convince.

His jaw was healed already and Remus was finding that he somewhat preferred it broken.

"Not after all we talked about, how can you be so stubborn!?" The werewolf grunted throwing his head against the wall of the dark broom closet Sirius had dragged him into. How he managed to find these places was way beyond Remus' comprehension.

"Look, you said you wanted her to be happy- she will be happy, she will be happy being with you!" Sirius flailed his arms, looking like an over excited kid, who has been offered candy. His eyes were shining almost maniacally.

"Yeah, really and how exactly is that supposed to work?" The lycanthrope asked sarcastically.

"Well , it's easy, we get one of them to cheat on the other, which will probably be Lily, because at least she knows that she's attracted to guys so that'll be easier, and the other- James- will be left broken hearted for me to sweep in and offer comfort!" Sirius said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

"Sirius, do you hear yourself?" Remus asked utterly appalled.

"What?" Sirius asked confused.

"That's just… that's just plain evil." The werewolf explained, surprised that Sirius even had it in him to offer something like that.

Sirius blinked a couple of times, but didn't look ashamed in the least.

"All's fair in love and war, Moony." He said.

"Oh? And what about friendship?" Remus raised an eyebrow, hoping to get Sirius to remember that this _was _after all their friends they were talking about.

Sirius shrugged.

"For God's sake, Sirius, you're acting like a little kid who's been denied of something! Snap the hell out of it!" Remus' patience was coming to an end.

"Think about it! Isn't that the most logical solution? Come on! It's not like a person can only love once in their lifetime." Sirius rolled his eyes, not really affected by his friend's anger.

Remus thought it over, trying to find a different approach.

"Why would this even work, Sirius? What reason does Lily have to cheat on James?" He said finally, hoping to at least convince Sirius to drop _this _ridiculous plan.

"Uhm-_you_. How's that for a reason?" Sirius grinned wolfishly.

"A terrible one, Padfoot, come on she has James." Remus laughed heartily.

Sirius looked like he wanted to say something but didn't.

"Sirius, she's not the type to cheat, let's be realistic. And even if she did, do you really want James to go through that?" Remus heard that his voice now sounded almost like he was begging.

"No." Sirius admitted slowly, making his friend sigh in relief. "But-" Yeah, there's always a 'but' "If it's the only way to get him to see that I'm the right person for him, then I'm going to do whatever it takes."

"In other words you're willing to hurt someone you love, to get what you want?" Remus rephrased.

"Call it what you will. I'm going after him, whether you help or not, Moony. It's you choice." Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.

"I can't let you do that." Remus shook his head disapprovingly.

"Hm. I want to see you try to stop me." Sirius challenged and exited the closet.

As Remus watched him walk away, it became clear that he never realised how many swear-words he really knew. Not that he called any after Sirius. No, that would be just rude.

He murmured them quietly.

* * *

Remus watched Sirius and James banter friendly in their dorms, seemingly back to the way they were before. Just not exactly. James may not have noticed, but Remus did. The little not so accidental touches and looks.

And he didn't know whether he should be angry with Sirius or feel sorry for him.

Because to be honest, as cruel as it sounded, Sirius had about as much chances with James as Remus did with Lily.

None.

Even if he did managed to break them up- which should be much harder than Sirius thought – Remus highly doubted that James, suddenly after all these years of chasing skirts would change his preference to trousers. That just didn't happen.

And Sirius needed to understand that. Not that the werewolf didn't understand the way Sirius was feeling right now, because he did.

Regardless, if Sirius did have some sort of new plan and if that plan (God forbid) worked, that's all there would be- they'd have four single unhappy people instead of two.

And that meant an unhappy Lily.

And that meant a very angry Remus.

So in other words, the lycanthrope was having none of Sirius' nonsense.

Peter came over and sat down next to Remus, wondering about the calculating way the guy had been observing James and Sirius, who were now fighting over the last chocolate frog, running around like children.

"I don't follow, what's happening here?" He asked meaning Sirius and his unexpected friendliness.

"He's up to something." Remus whispered sounding quite convinced.

"Sirius? Up to what?" Peter asked again puzzled.

"I don't know yet. I think even he doesn't know yet, but once he does, I _will _find out." Remus said determinedly.

"Remus, you're kind of creeping me out here." Peter complained, cringing away from the dangerous aura the werewolf was radiating.

"Good." Remus smirked. "You should be scared. You should be very scared."

* * *

Sirius decided that ignoring James did not work and made a mental note of that. Honestly, he needed to do something to show James how amazing their friendship was and not how difficult it could be sometimes. So he tried to bring it back to normal.

He even apologised, to which James responded with his usual 'never mind'. And it was great, because he finally had his best friend back after more than three months (keeping in mind the summer holidays, because the letters did not count).

Sirius felt like himself again after all this time, playing around with James. They were similar in many ways and he felt like he could be as careless and free as he wanted when they were together. That relaxed feeling was most probably the main thing that attracted him to James so.

As James pinned him down, wrestling him because he ate their last treat, he took time to take in James' dishevelled dark hair and rough skin of his hands. The blue eyes that were shining through the lenses of his glasses. And he felt his stomach churn as if something was tickling him from inside, making a lump form in his throat. It may have not sounded very good, but it actually felt wonderful.

Their laughter filled the room as Sirius stole James' glasses and James, trying to chase him but not really seeing much, bumped into the corner of his own bed falling down with the grace of a pregnant elephant.

Sirius said that out loud.

"Why pregnant?"James asked scrunching his eyebrows.

"It sounds better." Sirius explained.

"If I were an elephant, I wouldn't be pregnant- I'd be a very manly man elephant!" James protested turning his nose up haughtily.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Sirius grinned.

"You know what? I think I like you better with your jaw broken." James grunted pouting and crossing his arms.

They heard a faint chuckle and turned their heads to see Remus laughing at them with Peter sitting beside him.

"What?" James wondered.

"I was just thinking the same thing actually." The werewolf answered making Sirius stick out his tongue at them both.

"Some friends."He mumbled pretending to be offended.

"The best." James said.

Guilt clutched Sirius' insides and he frowned a little bit. What made it even worse was the knowing glint in Remus' eyes.

So yes, maybe what the lycanthrope had said got to Sirius more than he let it show, but he was not changing because of it.

He looked over at James once again taking in the careless smile and eyes dancing joyfully and realised that no matter what, Remus couldn't expect him to give it away. Did he not understand how truly painful that would be?

Sirius could barely stand to watch James with Lily now, when he was sure that there was still something that could be done, so if he gave up- well, he simply didn't want to think about how that would feel.

"Yeah, the best." Sirius agreed with James' words, smiling softly.

His smile was greeted by a disapproving frown from Remus.

He felt bad about fighting with the werewolf, he truly did, but when it came to this, there was no possibility of him backing down.

No matter what it would take, he was going to have those blue eyes for himself.

Because he needed them. He needed them to keep him sane, to colour his world and to make him smile. Because James was the only person who could make his heart beat like this.

Because Sirius was the only one who would do anything it would take to make James happy. And no one could care as much about James as Sirius did.

They needed each other- James just didn't know that yet.

* * *

The next morning Sirius came down to breakfast with an enormous smile on his face, which was quite an unusual sight among exhausted, sleepless, zombie-like seventh years.

"Good morning!" He greeted everyone energetically, sitting down next to Lily.

Oh, something was definitely up, Remus noted as he murmured an absent-minded hello.

"How are you, lovely people, today?" He asked grinning like a mad man.

"Well, having in mind that we have History first, I dare to say that I'm still not ready to wake up." James said tiredly and rested his head on Lily's shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Come on, History's not that bad." Lily said, shrugging him off playfully, to which he responded with a pathetic whine.

"Yes, James, History's not that bad." Sirius agreed.

Oh, something was very very up.

"You seem to be in a better mood today, Sirius." Remus commented carefully.

"Why shouldn't I be this beautiful, magical day, Moony? It's not against the rules to be happy." Sirius responded cheerfully.

"Of course not. I didn't say that." Remus agreed, but his smile didn't lose its cautious edge.

"Relax, Moony have some coffee or something." Sirius offered him a cup, filling it up with dark drink.

The werewolf guy looked at it and then met grey eyes. They stared at each other for a while.

"What's up with you today?" Remus asked outright.

"Nothing." Sirius answered simply, not breaking the stare.

"Sure." The lycanthrope took the cup from him giving him a distrustful frown.

James, Lily and Peter shared a lost look, feeling some kind of tension between the guys, but not being able to place it.

After the breakfast Remus caught up with Sirius and cornered him in some classroom, making sure that no one would disturb them.

"Okay, spill it." Remus put all of his energy into the glare he was giving Sirius.

"Okay, spill what?" Sirius asked innocently.

"What are you up to?" The werewolf demanded.

"Changed your mind about helping me?" The guy wondered cocking his head to the side playfully.

"Obviously not, I just want to know so I can tell you it's stupid and knock some reason into that empty little head of yours." Remus answered flatly.

"In this case, of course, I'm not telling you." Sirius laughed at him. He did already have a new plan actually.

"Well I'll find out anyway, I'm just giving you the chance to do this the easy way rather than the hard way." The lycanthrope retorted annoyed.

"Uh-huh, good luck with that." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I don't need luck when I'm ticked off, Sirius, you know that." Remus sighed as if he really did not want to do this.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm willing to risk it this time. I wish we didn't have to fight, Moony, I really do, but this is James we're talking about, so I'm not backing off." Sirius looked at him regretfully.

"I can understand it to some point, Sirius, but overall it does not make it okay." Remus countered.

"I understand that but I don't really care this time." Sirius pressed his lips into a tight line.

"I'm starting to change my opinion on you not being selfish." Remus didn't even notice the words slip his mouth.

Sirius noticed though, and they hurt. They hurt because, even if he was one hundred percent sure he was right, it was _Remus. _And he mattered. His opinion mattered.

And he was being truthful when he said he didn't want to fight.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." He forced out and left smacking the doors closed behind him.


End file.
